Even though you're ready to open your heart and invite love into your life, it's completely natural that you may be feeling some resistance and fear deep down.
Fear is part of our neurobiology. It lives in our amygdala, in the limbic system in our brain.
“When someone tells you, you can eliminate fear forever; your next question should be, when’s the lobotomy scheduled”- Rhonda Britton, Fearless living.
Unlike other emotions, it bypasses the sensory cortex on its way to the amygdala.
It’s persistent, and doesn't like to be noticed, or caught because if your fear can be named, it can be stopped, so it tricks you into thinking you're the problem and stops you living fully.
It can show up as
“I’m afraid of rejection/failure/success.”
“I’m afraid of spiders/heights/ dating/ public speaking.
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
The truth is our fears are there for a purpose to protect us, but you can challenge, control, manage and work with them in a rational, confident way so that they don't sabotage your happiness and joy in Relationships and Life.
Are your Fears tricking you into not taking Action?
They will manifest themselves through your behaviour and actions at unexpected times and in unexpected ways for example in your self-talk.
Have you ever said to yourself?
"Will I ever meet a partner perfect for me?"
"Does he even exist?" "Will he love me, as I am?"
"I am not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough to attract a lovely man?"
"I don't want to lose my identity or independence, so I'd rather be single."
"Men can't be trusted."
"My standards are too high/ I'm too picky."
Perhaps you feel a Fear of
- Being abandoned
- Losing yourself in a relationship
- Making a mistake and committing to a partner who isn't right for you
- Feeling Trapped in an unhappy Relationship (again)
You're not alone, these are natural and universal fears people experience, and those who have successful, happy relationships work through them and achieve their desired heart goals.
Feeling empowered on your Relationship journey involves making smart choices, honouring and loving yourself each step of the way.
It's worthwhile keeping in mind that attracting love requires a smart, well-managed risk. Without it, you're minimising your chance of drawing your Life Partner and happy, meaningful relationship.
The Secret to attracting a Healthy, Loving, Happy New Relationship is to trust yourself and know that whatever comes the way you can handle it.
As you know meeting your life partner and enjoying one of the most important relationships in your life, isn’t an “overnight” or “find love in 30 days” surface level fix.
Regardless of where you are on your dating journey, I encourage you to apply these six practical questions to each of your dating fears without over analysing.
Answer them from your heart and let your feelings lead not your "fear" talk.
1. Describe your Dating Fear
2. Where does it come from?
3. How is it showing up in your Dating Life?
4. If this fear does come true, what will you commit to doing to ensure you’re honouring and loving yourself during this setback?
5. What five steps can you take to manage and work with this fear so that you feel safe and trust yourself at each stage of your new relationship journey?
6. What support do you need to keep moving forward?
These will help you gain more clarity about possible dating blind spots; dissolve the power your fears have over you so that you control them not the other way around, and you’ll make space for your self- trust to lead the way on your relationship journey.
If you would like support to overcome your current dating fears and concerns and to start taking empowered actions to uplevel your dating life, I'd love to invite you to a complementary strategy call with me. Click below, and let's get started.