How Strong Independent Women Unknowingly Block Attraction from Men
I know that as a strong independent women you have a full and happy life, and certainly aren’t desperate to be in a relationship.
It’s an important part of your life though which will enhance your happiness.
But at the moment there are some challenges
You’re unsure about how to find a loving, supportive man, who understands you, and has a similar lifestyle and ambitions.
You’re demotivated and exhausted with attracting unavailable, uninspiring, noncommittal men who are hot and cold, and disappear or no one at all.
You’ve tried everything from being online to being matched by friends and family, and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong or how to change.
You feel confused about why you’re alone when you have so much to offer, and didn’t expect to be dating at this stage of your life.
You’re putting yourself out there, but don’t feel seen by men or the ones you’re attracted to.
Perhaps you’re losing confidence in yourself and your ability to meet someone and you're starting to doubt whether he really exists.
You’re not alone, and you have the power to change your relationship destiny. My clients have experienced all of these situations as have I.
Many women begin to blame all men, themselves, their age or outside circumstances, without recognizing how much influence and power they have to change their results, so they get stuck in a cycle of over-giving to the wrong partners, staying in unhappy relationships or not dating at all. For example my client below, let’s call her Annie.
"I'm not going to change, I'm a strong, dynamic woman, and if a man can't appreciate that, he's not for me. I expect a man to step up. Why should I initiate? I'm exhausted trying to make things happen; they're too feminine. The only way it will happen is with luck and by chance, and if it doesn't so be it."
Do my former client's comments resonate with you?
She's a PHd running a successful practice, sporty, gorgeous, well- travelled - a catch! And men consistently do NOT pursue her, fade out after a bit of flirtation or a few dates, then disappear.
I coached this lovely lady last year, and this was her update when we touched based recently.
Does this have a great success story ending? Sadly not
In her romantic life unlike the other areas of her life, she has a fixed mindset, rigid, inflexible opinions both of which have hardened her natural magnetic radar that captivates and inspires attraction in high caliber men.
She has given up because she refuses to accept her influence over her results and has stayed stuck in the comfortable place of blaming outside circumstances and men.
She deserves love and has a lot of love to give, but she's staying in her own way for now.
Don't let that be you!
Are there men out there who don’t know how to inspire attraction and court a women- Yes!
Are there men who feel uncomfortable or threatened by an intelligent accomplished women- Yes!
Are there men who lie and cheat? Of course!
Are there men who are commitment phobes? Yes
Are there men who don’t initiate and step into their masculine strengths Yes
Are there men who convey a nice guy image, and are master manipulators or narcissists? Yes
You will attract all sorts of men, and there are plenty of undesirable ones out there. I’ve met a few too!
These types of men are easy to filter so that you can focus on allowing the emotionally mature, confident, high caliber relationship minded men out there wanting to meet you to discover you.
The reality is you might NOT be inspiring attraction from them because
1) You’re so used to being in control, handling your life and making things happen
that the side effect is you have an overdeveloped masculine side which is needed to take care of yourself, your career, home, family.
Consequently, your magnetic feminine side is neglected and shuts down. Your natural radiance, feminine confidence and availability aren’t shining through to quality men, and that’s what they notice.
Our energy is the biggest reason most women are frustrated by the men their meeting or not meeting any at all. It's that powerful. (you might like this free guide which explains)
2) You’ve become so comfortable being independent.
You’re used to depending on, protecting and looking out for yourself. The problem with this is that you’ve unconsciously developed a layer of armour that has blocked your heart to love.
Even though you’re available and putting yourself out there, you’re actually not fully available. The message is you don’t need a man. This keeps you stuck attracting unavailable, unimpressive men or no one at all.
3) You’re frustrated that men don’t initiate, step up and pursue you.
The problem is many women don’t know or aren’t comfortable being pursued. You're so used to managing things in your life that you’re unconsciously preventing the right quality man’s masculine instincts from working.
4) You have underlying judgements or fears about men that are sabotaging you
and sending signals that you’re unapproachable preventing men from feeling safe to invest and lose interest.
5) You’re energetically attaching too soon to a man before he's invested emotionally
(not physically) and projecting to the future without substance. One sign of this is over giving, oversharing, overdoing, and always being available.
6) You're ignoring warning signs and red flags
because of the external appearance of "success" or compatibility based on surface level criteria.
These examples are more common than you might realise, and a man will never tell you instead he'll fade out, or disappear.
Often he doesn't know why he didn’t feel the attraction himself.
I've experienced all of these and learned the hard way.
Dating and Relationships isn't an area many women or men nurture and develop enough, as they grow, mature and evolve as does society and our dating culture.
Many women are trying to attract the Best quality, happy, healthy, Relationship which you deserve, with faulty programming, old conditioning and without a clear modern road map for success.
This way of doing dating and relationships manifests itself in your results that are far from those you deserve or are capable of attracting.
We nurture develop and become proficient, savvy, get support; in our careers, business skills, social life, travel, well-being, health, motherhood, fitness and self-care.
But leave one of the most important relationships in our lives to chance, luck, or get support when it becomes painful, or too late.
The truth is you have the power and influence to change the quality of your dating and relationship experience, and perhaps you do 't know how or where to begin.
The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to sharpen and nurture our interpersonal and relationship skills consistently, as much as every other area of our lives. Why wouldn't we when it’s one of the most important.
I’d love to support you to do that.
Start with this Guide about 5 Ways you can ignite your Feminine Magnetism Download it here
Also schedule your Love.Smart Strategy call with me HERE so that we can discuss how I can support you to shift the trajectory of your Romantic Life.