When you're dating, do you find yourself thinking about him most of the time?
Do you wonder what he's doing, if he's thinking about you, and regularly check your phone for a message from him
Do you initiate contact via texting, facebook messages just to check what he's doing, or follow up about when you're going to meet again?
Perhaps you find yourself "Waiting" for him, and don't confirm plans with friends to keep your diary free "just in case", and go even at short notice.
Do you fall into the supporting counsellor role? You may have found common ground over past relationship break up stories. Or you offer helpful advice when he talks about his life and work.
These are examples of how you may be unknowingly be leading with your Masculine Energy in your dating life.
In our minds, we're caring, thoughtful and sweet, the truth is, these ways of energetically making him the centre of your attention can be attraction killers.
These behaviours often result in the seemingly great man you're dating, not perceiving you as the high-value woman instead it conveys "needy" energy.
I underestimated the power of making this shift until I learned the magic and influence that feminine energy has.
First for us, by feeling balanced and whole, and secondly with friendships, and of course in dating and relationships. (I wrote about the misconceptions about feminine energy HERE)
If this sounds like you, it will feel uncomfortable at first to lean back physically and emotionally.
You may think that you're not showing enough care and attention. It's natural, but essential to trust the process and practice.
I encourage you to keep an open mind. It does positively influence the quality of your dating life and convey your high value effortlessly.
It also filters out men who are not prospective serious long-term relationship material. A good thing!
5 Practical Ways to embody your Feminine Energy in Dating.
1) Lean Back Physically and Emotionally
Unlike your masculine energy strengths, you're receptive, open and more passive (relinquishing control).
You're giving him space and "allowing" him to lean towards you to initiate calls, texts, and arranging to see you.
If you don't hear from him for hours and days, your thoughts aren't on him.
You're not "checking in" by texting, or checking Facebook to see what he's doing or waiting to schedule him into your diary.
You're leaning back and when he contacts you, and it feels good to you, you reciprocate. If you aren't available, that's ok; you gently let him know that you have plans already, and you'd love to see him in the next few days.
The man who wants to meet you will ensure he secures that date with you in advance. You don't need to explain. He will understand when you show him; you're not available at the last minute.
Doing that takes your energy and attention off him, and creates space, for him to lean in, and initiate seeing you.
2) Don't Attach to an Outcome
In your feminine energy, you're completely present, and continue your active, varied life without attachment to an outcome.
Your attention and energy aren't on one man, with hopeful expectation that he "likes" you enough.
You're not projecting, analysing or thinking about the potential of a relationship in the future.
You're enjoying discovering him over time, enjoying your life in the meantime, and continuing to connect with other men until you've met the man you'll commit to.
You can expect that he is doing the same. You're essentially interviewing for one of the most important relationships of your life.
You're not overly investing your time and energy with him too soon, and your boundaries are clear. (Need to help to strengthen your boundaries? Here's my blog about it HERE )
He will feel you're not energetically attached to him or hoping for more, to soon. It allows the right man to go through this own bonding process and lean towards you, in his own time without pressure. In the meantime, you're not waiting remember!
3) Stay Present and Connected to your Feelings.
In your feminine energy, you're connected to your emotions and effortlessly express your feelings during your conversations, rather than just facts, thoughts and opinions.
This takes practice when in our busy lives, we automatically default to analysing and expressing thoughts and opinions in our heads.
You can begin by expressing feelings about little things for example, how the evening, the meal, the movie, your day, made you feel and keep it light and positive.
This is the way, a man connects with you on a deeper level, as he feels the authentic you. Remember to stay present and relaxed, instead of overthinking.
When you catch yourself, thinking about what to say next or what he might be thinking about you, gently bring yourself back, and tune in, listen to what he is saying and stay receptive.
Don't worry, about the next thing to say, or asking a lot of questions. Allow it to unfold, naturally. Be comfortable with some silence too.
4) Avoid "Over- Doing & "Over-Giving".
As naturally nurturing women, we instinctively lean in, when we're in our masculine energy, and do more than the masculine energy man does before he's ready. It's a slow attraction killer especially in the early stages of dating. Remember nurturing is a masculine energy strength.
"Connecting with a high-value masculine energy man doesn't involve what you can do for him in any way, shape or form. That becomes mothering, which isn't sexy."
It doesn't involve, offering him advice, trying to help him, providing solutions, listening to his problems endlessly, or trying to prove we are pretty, interesting bright enough for him.
It involves doing things for you first as the number one woman in your life.
He values a woman, who appreciates herself highly and enjoys her life, which he notices through your actions and behaviour. He matches the authentic value he can see you place on yourself.
If a man shares a problem with you, your feminine energy will be receptive, listen attentively, and tell him that you believe and trust he will work it out, and you're there if he needs you. You won't be offering advice and solutions unless he specifically asks you. Even in this case, you want to keep problem-solving his issues to a minimum.
His instinct is to be the "provider" and "nurturer". Allow him to embody his natural qualities. By doing this, you're respecting his masculine strengths, and providing emotional safety and support.
If he's doing something for you, showing appreciation, is the best reciprocation.
5) Nurture & Love You!
As cliche as it sounds, staying true to your feminine magnetism involves your "inner" game matching your "outer" game.
It means recognising and honouring your high-value woman status authentically from the inside out, and being loving and accepting towards you first.
If you can't do this for you, you won't be able to provide it to him.
This doesn't mean we don't ever have insecurities and days where we don't feel our best, that would mean we aren't human.
It means, respecting, appreciating and being as kind to yourself as you would like everyone else to be, especially your life partner.
A high-value man will be able to feel when you're not in alignment with your true high-value status, and that doesn't inspire attraction.
It may be perceived as needy and insecure which isn't inspiring for him.
The first step is, to be honest with yourself about any hidden suppressed feelings which could be dulling your attractiveness and magnetism. These need to be acknowledged and replaced otherwise they will continue to weigh down your vibrant, gorgeous, energy.
So, I encourage you to schedule time to honour your feminine strengths a little every single day, as much as your masculine to create that balance and peace of mind.
- Doing more of the things that you love to do, and which you get lost in. i.e. being in nature, travelling, pampering yourself.
- Eliminating activities, and create boundaries with things and people that drain you rather than re-charge your energy
- Practising expressing gratitude, and appreciation even for little things someone may do for you. How often do you acknowledge kind gestures and say -Thank you!
- Practice receiving compliments without deflecting. Someone is giving you a "gift" by complimenting you, or your choices or actions. By deflecting them or minimising them, it's as though this is a rejection of that gift. A man will feel and notice this. He will question your trust in his compliment or gesture. Start practising it more often.
- Flirt, laugh, re-awaken your playfulness
- Move and connect with your body - dance, Zumba, yoga, practice dialling up your feminine body language- slow down your walk, soften your voice, lean back, practice inner thigh awareness when you're walking- they're fun and playful and flirty!
What 5 Things will you Commit to Doing every week to nurture your Feminine Strengths?
I hope these have given you some helpful tips to begin amplifying your feminine energy in Dating. To download your guide with these tips visit my Free Resources page HERE
Let me know which ones you'll be embracing more in the comments below.
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- If you'd like to take it a step further and connect personally to talk in more depth about you, and how I can support you to design and attract your Dream Relationship schedule your complimentary 45 Minute Coaching Conversation with me below.