Let’s face it, as a smart, experienced single lady or man you’ve reached a point in your life where you absolutely know what you don’t want in a relationship.
You don’t want to waste time on the wrong relationship that’s for sure.
You have failed relationships and painful break-ups behind you, and you’re not going to settle. You shouldn’t!
That said, all the effort is worthwhile when you do meet that amazing partner, and you will!
I meet clients who are keeping the fabulous relationship they want away from them because they are stuck in common traps.
Are these 6 traps keeping you back from the relationship you really want?
They aren’t new, but if a few have taken a hold on you, it’s time to set them free!
1. YOU GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN
“There are no good men or women out there.” Sound familiar?
Generalizations drain your enthusiasm, energy and perspective towards dating. If you believe all the negative things about men or women, you will miss the good ones! Whether you mean it to, or not, it influences how warm, open and trusting you present yourself in life and on dates.
So UNLEARN all assumptions!
The truth is, there are plenty of quality, decent, lovely single men and women out there!
2. YOU COMPROMISE OR SETTLE ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS & GOALS
Flexibility on superficial traits is good, not on standards which will make or break the relationship in the long run.
Be confident and clear about your core needs. Don’t settle just to be with someone for now OR, just because they are super hot; but you have nothing else in common. It takes time and energy away from the right person. Stay strong.
3. YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS
When you’re serious about meeting someone; you need a smart strategy; to invest time and effort; to be confident, relaxed and assertive.
You can’t just dabble half-heartedly when you have time. Your strategy should include ways to meet someone great anywhere.
If you limit your methods, you limit your opportunities
If someone doesn’t smile back, or show interest at the supermarket or coffee shop – so be it, move on, Next! Don’t take anything personally or too seriously. You need to be a bit cheeky, bold and happy go lucky. Its charming and attracts people to you.
4. YOU DISMISS SOMEONE BECAUSE THERE ISN’T INSTANT CHEMISTRY ANDATTRACTION
It would be nice to experience the same buzz we did in our teens and 20’s. From 30 and over it may be a slower burn because substance is important.
When you’re emotionally mature and ready for a relationship, you want a partner who offers security, safety, commitment, loyalty and depth.
Chemistry and attraction can grow given the chance. It’s a process of connection. You will know after a few dates.
5. YOU ARE TOO PICKY ABOUT LOOKS
Looks do matter! But overall attraction includes many elements like energy, warmth, personality, attitude, body language, femininity in ladies, masculinity in men, the way they talk and what about, and character. Until you are in someone’s company, you can’t feel the essence of who they are.
Avoid setting an impossible standard for yourself and others, as you limit your chances with more amazing people.
6. YOU TAKE YOURSELF AND DATING TOO SERIOUSLY
At the very least you want to be in great company on a date.
Always be Good Company yourself!
Even if there is no connection, it’s great practice. Be open, fun, relaxed, playful, interesting, interested and sincere!
Being able to laugh with your date is a fantastic start to hopefully more great & fun dates. Laughing together creates chemistry.
So with these tips in mind, I hope you take lots of positive actions to have the life and love you want. You deserve it.
Stay positive, hopeful and happy!