Valentine’s Day either fills you with excitement; or the Valentines Schmalentines feeling of dread, depending on the meaning you place on it.
It has become one of the top ten most celebrated and commercial days of the year all over the world.
If you believe the romanticised version of how Valentine’s Day should be according to the media, celebrity, and what other people are doing; it can actually bring unwelcome pressure, stress and disappointment.
Whether you are Single or in Relationship, it’s important not to lose perspective that it is just one day.
VaIentine's Day shouldn’t make a difference to your relationship or how you feel about being single
IN A RELATIONSHIP
If you are in a relationship, of course it’s a lovely gesture to celebrate your love if you like to, but the consistent effort made each day is what really counts.
Relationship Coach Liana Ferrier has some insightful tips for effortlessly showing love to your partner. She encourages couples to challenge a common question she often hears “How do I know what my spouse’s interpretation of an act of love is?” Simply put, ask them! She says, it is amazing how often I see couples who take this form of communication for granted. We just assume that if I do this or that then my spouse will automatically feel loved, but how often do we really think about each other’s needs and how to fulfil them?
Lianas Tips for Acts of Love include spending quality time together, being affectionate, romantic, giving /receiving compliments, thoughtfulness, giving each other space, allowing each other to grow, being supportive, showing trust, respect and gratitude and giving and receiving undivided attention. Consistency is key! She encourages couples to add to the list or create their own meaningful list together. Almost like refreshing your vows periodically, even if you aren’t married.
SINGLE THIS VALENTINES?
If you are Single, it’s another day of your personal journey to meeting someone special. And that time will come.
As a personal Matchmaker and Coach, I advise Single Ladies and Men to be prepared to meet someone tomorrow. You never know where you are going to meet that special person. It could be the supermarket, a coffee shop, or another unexpected place! Preparing yourself, for giving and receiving love into your life is an on-going process, and shouldn't necessarily be decided at significant holidays or the time of year. Start by removing any negative feelings and generalisations about why it won’t happen; because then it won’t; re-evaluate your needs and standards for a relationship and partner, and put your best self forward! Love begins by being in a positive, healthy, high-value relationship with yourself. Be ready, relax into meeting new people, have an open mind, open heart, have fun, stay selective and be prepared to be surprised.
Being Single also doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and Life! On the other side of the coin, there are couples which aren’t happy, and may be envious of your Single status. I encourage you to do what you enjoy; have fun, host a party, go out or stay home and pamper you; enjoy yourself! If you are happy, engaging and have positive energy this attracts positive energy and love back to you. Negativity won’t get you anywhere! Appreciate all that you have achieved and are. You deserve to.
Carol Page founder of Inner Happiness and Relationship Coach Shares her top tip for Singles; VCarol Page, founder of New Page Life and Relationship coaching says; Valentine's can be a difficult time of year, especially if you are single. But it can be an opportunity for personal development and growth. Learning to really love you is a vital step towards being able to unconditionally love someone else. When we don’t, not only do we tend to attract needy people, but we also enter into relationships with a needy anxious energy that we want the other person to meet. That is never going to fully happen. So make this Valentine’s Day the year when you focus on yourself, your needs and making yourself feel special. You really are worth it!
Krasimira Kondova a Relationship Coach and founder of Happier you Coaching shares her top tips for making the most of being Single at Valentine’s Day. She advises you to stay on the side of the attitude scale where being single is an advantage, as being single you have more chances to happily fall in love than someone attached to a ’second best’. She encourages you to own your “single-ness” as a choice, boldly stated and with no room left for judgement. She says it’s up to you to create opportunities to move towards a relationship by being proactive daily and to keep in mind being single is just temporary.
Christina Demetriades, Life and Career Coach concludes our top tips about how to approach Valentine’s Day, by re- enforcing the most important component!
Can you guess what it is?
'If you want to find love, start within! Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself – on Valentine’s Day and every day. When we focus on loving ourselves, we radiate that loving energy so it’s much easier for a matching ‘other’ to fall in love with us. Try it and watch your (love) life transform!'
With that Said on behalf of me and all the Coaches who shared their tips, we would like to wish you all a Very Happy Valentine’s Day and continued love, happiness, and fulfillment in the year to come.
Article by Maria Christodoulou, Founder of Selective Matches an off- line Personal Matchmaking and Coaching Service.
Contributors Liana Ferrier- Lianas Life and Relationship Coaching- Limassol, Carol Page- Life and Relationship Coach –New Page, New Life Coaching- Paphos, Krasmira Kondova –Mira Counselling Service- Paphos, Christina Demtriades- Life and Career Coach- Nicosia