When did you last say or hear
Men are intimidated by strong women,
Men are only interested in looks,
All men are the same,
Unhappy relationships and disappointing dates have made a few women develop negative perceptions about All men.
It’s only natural, that past hurts are translated into criticisms, judgments, and assumptions. But deep down there is hopeful expectation to be proven wrong. They are actually quite distorted generalisations; which should be specific. Instead of saying All men do this..…Be precise! My Ex-husband/boyfriend did that….!
If you are serious about attracting and keeping a committed, loving, lasting and deep relationship with a great man with integrity– remember that your one or two personal bad experiences are not a reflection of how all men are. Your past relationships definitely don't dictate your future relationships, unless you're repeating negative patterns.
If you have more than one lousy relationship experience behind you; then your partner selection process may have been out of order, and needs to be reset.
If you find yourself believing some of the common man myths, my question to you is;
Are your beliefs affecting the way you present yourself to men?
Unless you release negative man myth beliefs; there is a natural risk; you are presenting a cynical, distrustful, guarded vibe, and worse, become the interrogator to find evidence of your negative beliefs.
I know, Men do this all the time! And some men fit these generalisations. But not All!.
Like women, the right men actually do want to be in a loving, committed, understanding relationship.
Here are the Most Common Myths circulating about Men – DEBUNKED to be UNLEARNED and forgotten about, so that you're not blocking your ideal man from discovering you.
1. Men are Intimidated by Strong women.
This is one of the most common misconceptions in dating. It’s assumed that if a woman is intelligent, successful and ambitious, that men are automatically threatened or turned off.
It's often the safe and comfortable conclusion women make if their date doesn’t want to see them again. The reality is, it's more to do, with how you made him feel in your company.
Even though recent research found that there is some truth in this, which isn't surprising. US researchers noted that the men who had been told they were about to meet a more intelligent woman "distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her."
The truth is a thriving, intelligent woman doesn’t deter a confident, self-assured man with healthy self-esteem, and that’s the kind of Man you want to meet. Smart men are proud to be with intelligent women!
The Second part to this Myth is that Ladies with a strong, Character and opinions deter men.
Differing opinions in conversation is healthy, stimulating and appealing. Agreeing with everything isn’t authentic.
The tone, manner, facial expressions and body language used to convey a difference in opinion is the key. Being playful, calm, intelligent, assertive, light and feminine when expressing your views and questions are engaging.
Being confrontational, severe and aggressively opposing or dismissing a point of view - doesn’t encourage mutual chemistry to develop.
A smart confident, man who doesn’t feel trusted, relaxed or comfortable to be himself, and speak freely during a date, isn’t generally going to want more of that same feeling.
Also if a lady talks about how she doesn’t ever need anything from a man and projects a tough exterior; it doesn’t encourage a relationship-minded man to invest further. If he is given the impression that he is disposable, isn't needed and has no purpose in your life, he will move on. A man needs to feel that he does matter in your life. Otherwise, there is no reason for him to be with you.
A lady can convey her inner strength, independence yet be feminine, soft, and open to receiving love, which isn’t a weakness.
2. If a Man is Single, he doesn’t want to commit and/or is a Player.
The current hook up dating culture hasn’t helped dispel this Myth. Some men don't and will never commit.
But research has proven that a relationship-minded man may consider and remain open to more choices when he is single and dating; unlike women, but when he meets a Lady he is serious about and is ready, the man will commit and secure the relationship faster than women. This is judged by the one lady he connects with on a deeper level, feels safe with, needed and admired by, regardless of his career, financial status and physical appearance. Does he feel confident that despite the outer trappings of manliness, he is genuinely loved and respected?
3. Men don’t Communicate as well as Women
Research shows that Men are just as emotional and caring as women, except they are conditioned not to be as expressive or open about their emotions, and can hold back as not to appear weak. Culture obviously influences this.
Just because a man isn't responding to something you said or replies to your text right away doesn't mean he isn't thinking about it or doesn't care about what you're saying.
It may take him an hour, or a day, or sometimes even a week to respond to something you communicated to him, or to answer an important question. Give him space, chances are he'll get there once he's thought it through. This is especially important in the early stages of dating and relationship.
4. Men Only care about Looks.
It’s Human Nature to notice attractive people, and first impressions and looks do count for both women and men. Men are predominantly visual.
But smart men, understand, that it's about more than physical attractiveness though. A woman who looks confident, happy and takes care of herself, has the attitude and character to match is appealing regardless of size or style.
If you feel confident and happy with yourself and present your best self, this inevitably gets noticed by the right kind of man for the right reasons.
"Men aren’t falling in love with you because of your job title, your workout schedule, your hobbies, your degrees, or even the shape of your body. Those things are great, but they aren’t the characteristic that inspires love.
Quality relationship-minded men connect with women based on the way you love, experience, forgive, communicate, and enjoy life. How affectionate, warm and feminine you are. How you express that. Your laugh, your smile, your way of relating. That’s what matters to them. They fall in love with the woman, and the way you inspire them. Do they feel good about who they are around you? They fall in love with the true essence of you as a person. Just you". April Beyer US Matchmaker
ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME
You’ll See it when you Believe it... Dr. Wayne Dyer
Be mindful and smart about what you believe, avoid being influenced by your negative experiences and the opinions of others.
Next time you generalise about "men" all being the same, follow that thought with a specific, truthful example about why? Find your evidence, then isolate it to one experience, then focus on, and live by the standards you do need in your partner.
Stay optimistic and open-minded giving the right man a chance to reveal himself to you.
P.SIf you’d like to understand men and attraction to avoid second-guessing or waiting again, schedule your Complimentary 45-minute skype coaching conversation with me below to learn more about how I can support you on your dating journey to a successful relationship.