When did you last say or hear…
Men are intimidated by strong women!
Men are only interested in Looks!
All men are the same!
Let’s be honest, these comments are as common as hearing ...do you want sugar in your coffee?
Unhappy relationships and disappointing dates with some men have made a few Ladies develop negative perceptions about All men.
It’s only natural, that past hurts are translated into criticisms, judgments, and assumptions. But deep down there is hopeful expectation to be proven wrong. They are actually quite distorted generalisations; which should be specific. Instead of saying All men do this..…Be precise! My Ex- husband/boyfriend did that….!
If you are serious about attracting and keeping a committed, loving, lasting and deep relationship with a great man with integrity– remember that your one personal bad experience is just that - one isolated experience!
If you have more than one bad relationship experience behind you; then your good partner selection process may have been out of order, and needs reviewing.
If you find yourself believing some of the common man myths, my question to you is;
Are your beliefs affecting the way you present yourself to men?
Unless you release negative man myth beliefs; there is a natural risk; you are presenting a cynical, distrustful, guarded vibe, and worse, assume the role of the interrogator to find evidence of your negative beliefs.
I know, I know! Men do this all the time! I’ve heard it plenty of times too! And there are men who fit these generalizations. But not All! (Sign up below to receive my blog about the most common myths about women).
Like women the right men actually do want to be in a loving committed, understanding relationship.
Here are the Most Common Myths circulating about Men – DEBUNKED to be UNLEARNED and forgotten about.
1. Men are Intimidated by Strong women.
This is one of the most common misconceptions in dating. It’s assumed that if a lady is intelligent, has achieved a level of achievement and is ambitious, that men are automatically threatened or turned off. It might be the natural conclusion you come to, if your date doesn’t want to see you again; it isn’t usually this reason at all; but it’s a safe conclusion.
Even though recent research has suggested that there is some truth in this. In a recent American study researchers noted that the men who had been told they were about to meet a more intelligent woman "distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her."
In my opinion being a successful or intelligent lady doesn’t deter a confident self-assured man with healthy self-esteem, and that’s the kind of Man ladies want. Smart men are proud to be with smart ladies!
The Second part to this Myth is that Ladies with a strong, Character and opinions deter men.
Differing opinions in conversation is healthy, stimulating and appealing. Agreeing with everything and being too nice, isn’t authentic.
The tone, manner, facial expressions and body language used to convey a difference in opinion is the key. Being playful, cool, intelligent, assertive, light and feminine when expressing your opinions and questions is engaging. Being confrontational, severe and aggressively opposing or dismissing a point of view - doesn’t encourage mutual chemistry to develop.
A smart confident, man who doesn’t feel trusted, relaxed or comfortable to be himself, and speak freely during a date, isn’t generally going to want more of that same feeling.
In addition if a lady talks about how she doesn’t ever need anything from a man, and projects a tough exterior; it doesn’t encourage a relationship minded man to invest further. If he is given the impression that he is disposable, isn't needed and has no purpose in your life, he will move on. A man needs to feel that he does matter in your life.
A lady can convey her inner strength, independence yet be feminine, and open to receiving love, and gestures graciously which isn’t a weakness.
2. If a Man is Single he doesn’t want to commit / is a Player.
The current hook up dating culture hasn’t helped dispel this Myth. There are men who don’t and will never commit.
But research has proven that a relationship minded man may consider and remain open to more choices when he is single and dating; unlike women, but when he meets a Lady he is serious about and is ready, the man will commit and secure the relationship faster than women. This is judged by the one lady he connects with on a deeper level, feels safe with, needed and admired by, regardless of his career, financial status and physical appearance. Does he feel confident that despite the outer trappings of manliness, he is genuinely loved and respected.
3. Men don’t Communicate as well as Women
Research shows that Men are just as emotional and caring as Ladies, except they are conditioned not to be as expressive or open about their emotions, and can hold back as not to appear weak. Culture obviously influences this.
Jonathon Aslay, a dating coach for women reminds Ladies that just because a man isn't responding to something you said right away doesn't mean he's not thinking about it or doesn't care about what you're saying. It may take him an hour, or a day, or sometimes even a week to respond to something you communicated to him, or to answer an important question. Give him a little space, chances are he'll get there once he's thought it through. This is especially important in the early stages of dating and relationship.
4. Men Only care about Looks.
It’s Human Nature to notice attractive people, and first impressions and looks do count for both ladies and gents. It's about more than physical features though. A lady, who looks confident, happy and takes care of herself, and has the attitude and character to match is appealing regardless of size or style. If you feel confident and happy with yourself and present your best self, this inevitably gets noticed by the right kind of man for the right reasons.
April Beyer a Matchmaking expert for Successful Relationship Minded men shares her viewpoint, about what quality men really notice. She says
"Men aren’t falling in love with you because of your job title, your workout schedule, your hobbies, your degrees, or even the shape of your body. Those things are great, but they aren’t the characteristic that inspires love. Nope.
Quality relationship minded men connect with Ladies based on the way you love, experience, forgive, communicate, and enjoy life. How affectionate, warm and feminine you are. How you express that. Your laugh, your smile, your way of relating. That’s what matters to them. They fall in love with the woman, and the way you inspire them. Do they feel good about who they are around you? They fall in love with the true essence of you as a person. Just you".
ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME
You’ll See it when you Believe it... Dr. Wayne Dyer
Be mindful and smart about what you believe, avoid being influenced by your negative experiences and the opinions of others.
Next time you generalise about All Men, follow the thought with a specific personal example about why you think that way; isolate that example, put it down to one experience, then focus on, and live by the standards you do need in a partner.
Stay positive and open minded to give the right man a chance to see the real you.
Lots of Love
Would you like to know how my personal, confidential off-line Matchmaking and Coaching service can simplify your search for a quality, like-minded partner. Contact me below for a no- obligation chat and complimentary dating strategy coaching session